Off the Wagon

I kinda dropped off the face of the dieting world today by eating. A lot. I won't bother counting...its too much, but I will be back to counting again tomorrow. I need to practice more self control...

Ughhhhh So Hugry

Today...what to say about today...I succeeded in my goal for getting below 500 cal for today...all I had was 2 cups of ramen (420 calories), one at lunch and one at dinner. But I also starved. And I am still starving. In fact, it feels like my stomach is imploding right now...I had a little heart burn earlier, no doubt from the lack of food in my belly. I'm also staying up all night which makes my body need more energy. So imma let it burn some fat, I got no problem with that.

Fat Fail

I was doing so well today until a friend offered me spaghetti...and it went downhill from there. It's hard to this quick from the lifestyle and eating patterns of a pretty hearty guy who admittedly loves his food to that of what could essentially be considered anorexic. I started the day off with a can of oysters at 170 calories and then I ate about 2 hours later a bowl of ramen at 210 calories (noticing any staple foods yet?) which put me at 380 for the day and I was perfectly content with not eating for the rest of the day...then a (female) friend offered me spaghetti she cooked herself and who was I to refuse (AHEM) and so I ended up eating about 460 calories in that...thank goodness I didn't eat seconds, but it still gets worse. So for now I'm at 840 calories...Then my roommate decides we are going to McDonald's where we split a 20 pc chicken nuggets and we each had a frappe, which probably was well above 500 calories. I honestly probably ate a lot more than that. I call today a fail, but I will not eat any more tomorrow than I need to. This is the trying time if I can make it through this, I'll be golden.

Burning Hunger

Today as far as the calories goes is the same old song and dance as yesterday minus the ramen which puts me at about 450 for today. But today was different...I began to feel the beginning drags of hunger and fatigue. As i write this, I fight lingering feelings of hunger that permeate my gut. I know I can live like this for quite a while, especially since I have a sizable store of fat...anyway, I'm on a one track mindset and nothing can derail this train of thought.

Forgotten Reminders

Listening to Fucking Perfect by P!nk and got flashes of all the food I'll be missing out on if I continue this diet. I just realized that I can no longer go out to eat. I dread the level of self control I'll exhibit should I visit any kind of buffet. No more mexican restaurants the chips alone will put me over 500 calories. I can no longer eat turkey legs. What about when I go home for Thanksgiving? If I don't eat then, my family will definitely know something's up. Honestly, this is no longer really about the calorie counting, but more about how much I can control myself.

Back To Counting (Cont.)

Oh No! Double Posting!! However shall i be punished for this heinous crime? Ha Ha. Anyway, Here's my count for today. At noon, I ate an apple and then I was forced to eat at work, which ended up being chicken strips, like it will always be when I'm at work now because I get two sides with it which are apples. The kicker about today was that my supervisor was eating with me and she was concerned that i wasn't eating much so I was forced to eat when I was with her. That ended up being 350-ish calories putting me at 450-ish counting the apples. When I got hungry again later (because I could get hungry again because my stomach was stretched) I ate a bowl of ramen which was 210 calories, capping me off today for 660. Not quite the low 400 I had two days ago, but it's just a small step back. Nothing I can't overcome. I do have to say, however, that I did receive quite a few hunger pangs today because my stomach was stretched.

Back To Counting!!

Guess what, guys!!! I'm posting this from my brand new Acer Notebook PC!!! That's right, I won the pie eating contest, but at what price, you ask? Well, I wasn't really counting, but my roommate had my back. We ate one pie as fast as we could (thank goodness) and he reported to me later that the pie was 400 csalories PER SERVING...there were five servings. Plus, since I had already given up counting for the day, I kind of indulged...as in 2 brats (lets just assume here that I wasn't counting calories), a half a plate of potato wedges, 2 funnel cakes with a mountain of powdered sugar, ice cream, and fried chicken. Now in my defense, I was not eating this just to eat because i wasn't counting. you think if I had not cared about what I was eating, I would be able to tell you I ate it? No, my purpose for gorging myself was so that my stomach would be stretched out for the contest which I thought would be a lot more than one pie. Anyway, as I said yesterday, I was WELL above 1000 cal. probably well above 5 or 6000, which concerns me, because if I could lose control that fast, what am I in for when I start eating regularly again? I suppose this has become the new norm. At least I'll be thin. If i could lose weight. I feel like I should be seeing changes already but that's just me being impatient. I really know better than to anticipate because anticipation breeds disappointment, and disappointment breeds failure. As I promised, I went back to counting today, but I'll save that for another post. This one's kinda long.

Ok folks, if theres anyone out there, if you believe strongly in what I am doing or even care the tiniest bit, I am sorry, but tonight I forsake my journey for my love of tech. I am entering my colleges pie eating contest tonight, which will put me well above the 1000 calorie mark as it will likely be a very fattening pie and quite a long contest. Most likely this will be in vain because my stomach has shrunk so much that when I ate a small salad today (the first time I've sat down to eat since starting this) i almost threw up, and really I only needed to eat half of it to be full. If i can't eat a small salad, then who's to say I'll win a pie eating contest that is likely quantity over time? Anyway, I will be back to calorie counting tomorrow since it would be pointless to post an obvious failure. But wish me luck that this regressive endeavor not be in vain. Thanks and I'll post about my worthless failures tomorrow.

All right, so I just cranked out 150 situps, sat around for a little bit sweating before coming and posting. I feel like I've accomplished a little bit.

Ok, so today I started to feel the first of the hunger pangs that accompany what I am doing. Luckily when they came, I had not reached the cap for my calorie intake for the day. I am still below my 500 for the day. Today I started the day off with an apple (50 cal). Then I got back from my classes and was feeling quite hungry, so I had the other half of that chicken strip from yesterday (another 105). I felt a little hungry later on when the chicken strip ran out, so I cooked up a little cup of ramen noodles and only ate half of it then and half of it when I got hungry as dinnertime rolled around. That cup of ramen was 210 for dinner and lunch which totals at 365. then, in a moment of indulgence, I opened my can of lean turkey spam and ate a half a serving which is about as big as your thumb, and that was 40 calories capping me off at 405. I feel this is a good time to tell you that I am going into this lifestyle cold turkey from averaging 4000-5000+ a day. I have dropped to a tenth of my caloric intake. I plan to do some sit-ups or push-ups here in a minute, I might post again in regards to whether or not I actually did them.

Very glad to say that today, I held to my goal a lot better. I didn't eat anything until noon, at which I ate an apple and half a chicken strip. Totaled up, that comes to 155 calories. I also ate a few airheads again after lunch passed and I was in class. This came to 180, which would put me at 335 calories total so far. I just ate 2 more apples before posting this, which comes to about 105 ish calories, topping me off at 440 calories for the day. A massive 60 calories under 500, which meets my ideal goal. I can rest easily tonight knowing that I might just succeed in my endeavors.

Why can't I control myself?

Ok, so today, i showed decent self control, but this is definitely going to be a learning process. i have a fitness test tomorrow that I don't want to do bad on, so I didn't do the sit-ups i wanted to do today. I did control what I ate better today. I had a few airheads to start off the day with, 3 of those = a whopping 180 calories. Then at lunch, I had just a taco bell soft taco at a massive 210 which put me at 390 calories. Doing good so far with the  calorie counting, but my biggest challenge was yet to come. Work. At work, I had convinced myself that I was not going to eat anything and top off my day with another soft taco which would have put me at 600 even for the day, not bad. But my supervisor had other plans. She told me that I HAD to eat, or she would keep me late. I ordered a club sandwich wrap. I thought about a salad, but I don't like romaine lettuce, so I was just gonna take a few bites and then throw it away. Welllll, and I feel extremely guilty for admitting it, but I ate the whole thing; a fattening 510 calories which put me at 900 calories. Not 1000, but not what I had planned. tomorrow, I am going to do sit=ups, jumping jacks, and push-ups till I puke. Again, wish me luck and ill post tomorrows escapades tomorrow night.

Ok, so starting tomorrow, I just hope this doesn't turn into the procrastination blog. Especially since I work in a  food establishment that has delicious food.

Today, I realized I am fat. This is probably on account of the dreaded Freshman 15. Ha! More like 35. I have been eating entirely too much, and have decided to cut down from probably about 3-4000 calories a day to 500 or less but never more than 1000. Today is the start of a long journey to get back to where I once was and hopefully below. This shall be the record of that journey, and really, it will be more of a journal of sorts. It shall be where I come to post my self hating thoughts and what I've done to lose today. Wish me luck.