Off the Wagon

I kinda dropped off the face of the dieting world today by eating. A lot. I won't bother counting...its too much, but I will be back to counting again tomorrow. I need to practice more self control...

Ughhhhh So Hugry

Today...what to say about today...I succeeded in my goal for getting below 500 cal for today...all I had was 2 cups of ramen (420 calories), one at lunch and one at dinner. But I also starved. And I am still starving. In fact, it feels like my stomach is imploding right now...I had a little heart burn earlier, no doubt from the lack of food in my belly. I'm also staying up all night which makes my body need more energy. So imma let it burn some fat, I got no problem with that.

Fat Fail

I was doing so well today until a friend offered me spaghetti...and it went downhill from there. It's hard to this quick from the lifestyle and eating patterns of a pretty hearty guy who admittedly loves his food to that of what could essentially be considered anorexic. I started the day off with a can of oysters at 170 calories and then I ate about 2 hours later a bowl of ramen at 210 calories (noticing any staple foods yet?) which put me at 380 for the day and I was perfectly content with not eating for the rest of the day...then a (female) friend offered me spaghetti she cooked herself and who was I to refuse (AHEM) and so I ended up eating about 460 calories in that...thank goodness I didn't eat seconds, but it still gets worse. So for now I'm at 840 calories...Then my roommate decides we are going to McDonald's where we split a 20 pc chicken nuggets and we each had a frappe, which probably was well above 500 calories. I honestly probably ate a lot more than that. I call today a fail, but I will not eat any more tomorrow than I need to. This is the trying time if I can make it through this, I'll be golden.

Burning Hunger

Today as far as the calories goes is the same old song and dance as yesterday minus the ramen which puts me at about 450 for today. But today was different...I began to feel the beginning drags of hunger and fatigue. As i write this, I fight lingering feelings of hunger that permeate my gut. I know I can live like this for quite a while, especially since I have a sizable store of fat...anyway, I'm on a one track mindset and nothing can derail this train of thought.

Forgotten Reminders

Listening to Fucking Perfect by P!nk and got flashes of all the food I'll be missing out on if I continue this diet. I just realized that I can no longer go out to eat. I dread the level of self control I'll exhibit should I visit any kind of buffet. No more mexican restaurants the chips alone will put me over 500 calories. I can no longer eat turkey legs. What about when I go home for Thanksgiving? If I don't eat then, my family will definitely know something's up. Honestly, this is no longer really about the calorie counting, but more about how much I can control myself.

Back To Counting (Cont.)

Oh No! Double Posting!! However shall i be punished for this heinous crime? Ha Ha. Anyway, Here's my count for today. At noon, I ate an apple and then I was forced to eat at work, which ended up being chicken strips, like it will always be when I'm at work now because I get two sides with it which are apples. The kicker about today was that my supervisor was eating with me and she was concerned that i wasn't eating much so I was forced to eat when I was with her. That ended up being 350-ish calories putting me at 450-ish counting the apples. When I got hungry again later (because I could get hungry again because my stomach was stretched) I ate a bowl of ramen which was 210 calories, capping me off today for 660. Not quite the low 400 I had two days ago, but it's just a small step back. Nothing I can't overcome. I do have to say, however, that I did receive quite a few hunger pangs today because my stomach was stretched.

Back To Counting!!

Guess what, guys!!! I'm posting this from my brand new Acer Notebook PC!!! That's right, I won the pie eating contest, but at what price, you ask? Well, I wasn't really counting, but my roommate had my back. We ate one pie as fast as we could (thank goodness) and he reported to me later that the pie was 400 csalories PER SERVING...there were five servings. Plus, since I had already given up counting for the day, I kind of indulged...as in 2 brats (lets just assume here that I wasn't counting calories), a half a plate of potato wedges, 2 funnel cakes with a mountain of powdered sugar, ice cream, and fried chicken. Now in my defense, I was not eating this just to eat because i wasn't counting. you think if I had not cared about what I was eating, I would be able to tell you I ate it? No, my purpose for gorging myself was so that my stomach would be stretched out for the contest which I thought would be a lot more than one pie. Anyway, as I said yesterday, I was WELL above 1000 cal. probably well above 5 or 6000, which concerns me, because if I could lose control that fast, what am I in for when I start eating regularly again? I suppose this has become the new norm. At least I'll be thin. If i could lose weight. I feel like I should be seeing changes already but that's just me being impatient. I really know better than to anticipate because anticipation breeds disappointment, and disappointment breeds failure. As I promised, I went back to counting today, but I'll save that for another post. This one's kinda long.